My goal. My objectives. My bucket list.
We’ve met each other on a very liberated venue. I must admit though that I hated myself back then. I really thought that it was the proper venue. But after some thinking and after I met a person who’s already in my past, I can freely say that it was for no good — that it is wrong. Wrong is the manner, but not the person.
Just when I decided to erase that certain ‘venue’ we’re talking about and bury it in my past, you came to me and you seem pretty interesting; so interesting that your company separated and delineated me away from who I was with. Beautiful things happened between us, I must say — more than just an exchange of numbers, secrets and jokes. And eventually, set me apart completely from that someone for I chose you.
We parted ways for a while til we saw each other again, still in love as we first met. I threw myself at you after the people deserted where we were standing and right at that moment, I knew that my feelings were genuine — so genuine that I never wanted to leave you alone.
Things happened so quickly and the friendship we had escalated towards a more exclusive “getting-to-know” stage. We decided to bury our past — our wild past — deep into our memories and never look back. Yes, we deleted the venue where we first met. It was wonderful, really, to look forward to a more mature and grown-up phase, that is, to be exclusive.
However, as they say it is never easy. It was almost impossible to not hurt each other. Those were moments of our weakness and I almost gave up. I almost lost myself and found myself trashed and hurt. Trust was gone, the friendship we had was overcome by hatred. And ultimately, we decided to go on our lives separately.
But as we thought of ourselves alone, we felt that there is a need for each other, that two is really better than one. And then we decided to make up for the things that were broken.
Someone who doesn’t know me might ask me one thing: why did you accept the offer to get back together? I must admit though that it is a point to ponder however seeking deep in my heart, I’d rather say that I want to influence people. I mean, I want them to change for their own betterment. I just want people to mature and think about life as a wonderful yet painful thing. I want them to see how beautiful it is to live everyday and not regret what we’ve already done on the next day.
Well, to you, I really love you. I really love you so much that I want you to be better yourself and I want to be there as you constantly develop. You may slip out sometimes, lie and get away with it easily (and yeah, it is really painful) however I think of you changing as something gradual. I must be patient and I must be strong yet I do believe that it is your own journey, not mine, but I want to be part of that journey.
You’re trying, I know. But sometimes you disappoint me however I still give you a chance.
I keep on praying to God for you to change and may He direct you to something wonderful and something that’s of worth to you — something that will build a positive reputation and a bright future.
I love you and that is why I keep on staying — I see something wonderful in you that has been stained by angst, bitterness and wrong notion of individuality. And I, as someone who truly loves and cares for you, is always here to help you as you discover that “something wonderful”.
It may hurt a bit however, I’ll try. I am not a martyr rather I just believe that I am the perfect person for you.
And I hope you are too, for me.